The healing between men and women — and men and men (and women and women) — has the capacity to revolutionize relationship on a significant scale, but only if it goes to a sufficiently deep level. More than cosmetic shifts are needed, more than superficial gains, more than dips in self-help literature and seminars, more than attendance at men’s groups.
Without a saner, deeper bonding between intimate partners, dysfunctional associations will continue to dominate the relational landscape, along with all the compensatory activity — ranging from apathy to violent acting-out — that inevitably accompanies such dysfunction.The shift required is from fragmentation to wholeness, from frozen yesterday to fluidly alive now, from numbness to full feeling, from alienation to compassion, from reactivity to responsiveness, from genderized stand-offs to mutually respectful coexistence — making full-spectrum intimacy possible. A worthy challenge this is, the very demands of which are precisely what men — and women — need to align themselves with and wholeheartedly meet, for the sake of all of us.
Having healthy, fully functioning relationships is not a luxury or something just for the rare few: It needs to become a reality for enough of us to significantly impact the majority.